


Leave Your Hat Off

by misura



Category: Now You See Me (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Minor Lula May/Jack Wilder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-09 05:07:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8877214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: "How should I put this?" Merritt said. "I just think Danny deserves someone who won't wake up in the morning, take one good look at his adorable little face and only then realize he's a dick."





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [psikeval](https://archiveofourown.org/users/psikeval/gifts).



"You and Danny, huh?" Lula asked.

Merritt had always liked observant young women. His days of deriving simple pleasure from _observing_ young women might have been put behind him, age, alas, being less a state of mind and more a cold, if tedious, hard number.

"How should I put this?" he said. "I just think Danny deserves someone who won't wake up in the morning, take one good look at his adorable little face and only then realizes he's a dick."

"I don't think that word means what you think it means."

Merritt smiled. If he'd been wearing his hat, he might have taken it off and twirled it a bit, for effect.

"When I use the term 'adorable', obviously, a certain amount of sarcasm is involved."

"Obviously," Lula echoed. "So who's on top?"

Merritt decided to take that question in the spirit of good-natured teasing and fun, rather than a somewhat offensive, even hurtful assessment of his manly qualities - or a gross overestimation of Danny's. "A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell."

"No problem there, then."

*

"Hey, man," Jack said, which was about as clear as mud. His adding, "Congrats. I mean it," did not noticeably improve matters.

On the positive side of things, he'd brought coffee. "Is that for me?" As a rule, Danny disliked inquiring after the obvious, but on occasion, one was forced to be polite.

Jack stared at the mug of coffee like he'd nearly forgotten its existence. "Right. Yeah. Merritt said you could use some, with the kind of night you'd been having."

What a delightful way to start the day. In fairness, Danny probably should have been expecting something like this. Discretion was a gentleman's virtue, after all. "Did he now?"

Jack shrugged. "Well, Lula said. No details or anything. Which, no offense, man, but kind of cool with me?"

"How nice of you to have decided to respect my privacy." It was good coffee.

Jack chuckled. "That bad, huh? Or should I say: that good?"

"I thought you just said that you didn't want to know any details."

"Right," Jack said, absent-mindedly picking up the empty mug. Danny wondered whether this was Lula's influence showing, or if Jack was simply naturally inclined to perform domestic chores. "But, I mean, there's details and then there's details. And if there's going to be any yelling, I'd kind of appreciate a heads-up. So I'm just going to come right out and ask: you guys cool?"

Finally a question worth answering. "As ice."

Jack's expression indicated a certain lack of contentment with that crystal-clear reply.

"Now, if you don't mind?" Danny went on. "I'd like to go take a shower."

Definitely Lula's influence showing. "Uh, sure. Nice jammies."

*

"Let me be the first to say that this was not how I intended the kids to find out Mommy and Daddy have been playing 'hide the salami' behind their backs. Or on their backs, in your case."

"Oh, that's nice. Very mature," Danny said, mustering what dignity he could.

Wearing a towel with little ducks on it didn't help.

"Just calling it like it is," Merritt said. "You want to coin a different term, be my guest."

"You being 'Daddy' in this scenario, I assume," Danny said. He disliked using airquotes to make a point, but Merritt seemed to bring out a side of him that was inclined to pettiness.

Merritt smirked. "If the shoe fits, the shoe fits. But hey, no judgment. It's a very common kink."

Danny decided to let that one go. "Playing 'hide the salami'? Really?"

"Well, I don't like to brag. Still - "

"More like 'hide the pencil'," Danny said. "Or even 'hide the match-stick', perhaps?"

"Hey now. Is this how you want to start this day? Really? Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against a bit of shower sex, but you just took one. Could have spared yourself the trouble if this was the plan all along. I mean, that's a waste of time, plain and simple. Not _my_ time, granted, but even so."

"You're completely missing my point. As always."

"Guess it's not just me who's who's missing something though, eh? I mean, I guess I should feel flattered. It's been, what, a couple of hours? Careful there, tiger. A less confident person might begin to feel you're smothering them with all this affection."

Danny considered letting that one go, too. Nothing significant would be lost if he walked out now and went to see if there was any breakfast left.

On the other hand, "Oh please. Like you weren't begging me for it."

Merritt sighed. "Fine. I suppose I might as well, if only to set the record straight. Last time, though. For today, anyway."

"For today," Danny agreed.


End file.
